SATURDAY, AUGUST 24__________________________________________ Today is a full moon day. This morning again Ma remained lying dawn but there was some change in her bhava. Her body was motionless but she seemed to be aware of outward occurrences. We all felt relieved to see that. Bholanath declared, “Now we cannot stay here any longer. We must leave today, in our existing state. She wanted to learlier anyway.” Last morning we had got ready to leave but as we could not rouse Ma, we could not set out. Bholanath said, “You had apoken of going with me to Dehra- dun.” Ma replied “l alwavs tell you that if this body is well enough you can take it if you can.” Thia made us all afraid & we said, “No, no, if you do not go of your own will no one can take you. You must take your body in its present & come with us.” Ma did not reply. Hariram said something to everyone a little harshly & Ma said, “Do not get angry, let go of this bhava.” Yesterday Ma had spoken similarly in an indistinct voice while in that state therefore Bholanath got ready to take her today. As per his wishes we all got ready. At ten a.m. Ma was made to recline in an easy chair & was carried carefully into a motor-bus in which we left Almora. In her present condition Ma was unable to even move a limb but at least she seemed to be aware of happenings in the outside world. Two or three hours after the motor-bus started, Ma told me in indistinct speech, “Bholanath dose not understand, he says it is Maya. Is this the doing of Maya? This is not Maya. Have you people never seen this state of mine before? From a few days ago the word Stop it! Stopit!’ were emerging from within me. You people have heard them. During Jyotish’s illness l have lain unconscious, then sat up. Once in Ramna when this body remained seated in the ashram & could not get up, you had wept & told Jyotish. Then every morning he would come & take me for a walk. At that time this body would sit up. Now it remains lying down. All kinds of states are manife- sted in this body. Withuot understanding this Bholanath saya, ‘It will get worse if we stay on here.’ What, am l enmeshed in Maya that such things can happen?” As soon as Jyotish Dada had been taken away Bholanath’s stomach ache had started & he had broken his vow of silence. Bholanath heard Ma speaking now & said, “I said so only to express my opinion. I was Very much hurt so I said that. Do I not understand that you are not bound by Maha? Even when your very dear little Surabala died I did not see you upset”. Ma spoke about other matters to me, sometime with her eyes shut & sometime with half open eyes. Then she fell silent for some time. Then again she said, “Tell Hariram that wherever this body may be, the door must be kept closed. Let there be no noise. If any one comes by chance, let them watch for awhile & leave.” Ha-riram said, “It shall be so. I shall take leave & stay near Ma.” SUNDAY, AUGUST 25 Today we were separated from Ma after a very long time. The particularly frighteni-ng of her health & the absence of Jyotish Dada made this separation even more agoni-sing—yet the physical strain that we had undergone did not leave us with yhe energy to worry. I lay limp. The next day at ten a.m. the train reached Allahabad. At two p.m. we took a connecting train to Vindhyachal. Virajmohini Didi & Anang Bhattacharya were there as per Ma’s instructions. Yet there seemed to be a vacuum all around. We had had to leave Ma.